How to spot a cheater - Cheating partner; I think we can all agree that cheating is just absolutely the Worst. Anyone who's been deceived by a partner will know what a devastating effect it can have on everything from your confidence to your ability to trust others. Even though it's them that's been a complete douchebag, you often can't help but feel responsible in some way. But unless you physically guided their genitals into the other person's genitals (unlikely), know it's not your fault.
How to spot a cheater; As human beings, we're pretty perceptive and luckily not total dunces when it comes to picking up on suspicious vibes. You probs know your partner well, and if they're acting shady, chances are they're up to something shady. Some absolute specimens will make you out to be 'crazy' or 'paranoid' if you question them on their dodgy behaviour. In which case, they're a whole different kind of a-hole entirely.
How to spot a cheater / cheating partner If they're not making eye contact - "When you talk to them about where they are going, where they have been etc, they will avoid direct eye contact with you when they reply," Phillip says. "They may cover their eyes at critical moments of the conversation, looking away from you as they fib and being unable to ‘look you in the eye’ as they make key assertions."
How to spot a cheater / cheating partner If they're making way too much eye contact; Phillip says, "Some people who have trained themselves to look more ‘truthful’, will ‘overdo’ the eye contact. As they explain where they’ve been, and what they’ve been up to, they’ll stare directly into your eyes. As a trained ‘cheat’ detective, start to look at whether their eyes are just a little too wide open. Do they appear to be staring at you with a mild form of excitement in their eyes?"
How to spot a cheater / cheating partner If their breathing is weird; "Start to pay attention to their breathing," Phillip advises. "When their conversation is somewhat fictional, their breathing will become less natural. This is because they have to think what to say (in other words, invent) and so this causes them to forget to breathe naturally. As a result, their breathing becomes less natural and more uneven."
How to spot a cheater / cheating partner If they're going red; "As your partner talks to you and starts to fabricate, they will inevitably become more self-aware. Because they know they are lying, they are prone to think that you are ‘on to them’, whether or not you really are. This results in them feeling more self-conscious. When we perceive that others are looking at us and perhaps judging us, we tend to send more blood to the part of our body we think they are looking at: Our face," Phillip says.
"In other words, look out for blushing, especially when you challenge what your partner says. But beware, our faces also become more red when we get angry, so sense check this with other aspects of their behaviour to check you haven’t just riled them with your incessant questioning!"
How to spot a cheater / cheating partner If their hands are all over the place; Phillip says, "When we explain ourselves, our hands play a starring role. Unfortunately we don’t always keep them in check. For example, when partners lie, they are liable to try and cover their mouth in a prehistoric means of concealing the lie. Some people who know hands can be a giveaway, tend to adopt somewhat artificial hand gestures to keep their hands in check, but that often just look plain false."
How to spot a cheater / cheating partner If their palms are facing down; "When a person is being completely open and honest, their hands will communicate this by showing open palms and the undersides of exposed wrists. Try it yourself. Look into the mirror and plea with yourself to believe something, anything. As you do so, watch how your hands turn palms up and open out. On the other hand (pun intended), when you aren’t being truthful, you’ll tend to keep your palms face down or even keep your hands out of sight," Phillip explains.
How to spot a cheater / cheating partner If their face looks strained; "As a species, we’ve had facial expressions for much, much longer than we’ve had language, so the former is significantly more embedded in our real communications. When listening to a partner’s explanation, become more aware of what their facial expression is communicating," Phillip says. "Often it really is the window to the soul. A person talking confidently about something they have done or not done, but whose face is showing signs of apprehension (tightening of the lips, eyebrows moving inwards and upwards, etc.) is probably lying and has something to hide.
How to spot a cheater / cheating partner If they're going into loads of detail; Phillip explains, "Somebody telling the truth will tend to only give you outline detail of where they’ve been and what they’ve been doing. Those being economical with the truth, in an attempt to hide their deceit will add too much detail. In truth, I drove from the office to the store and the weather was ok. A fictional version of this same journey is likely to include details of what was on the radio and other irrelevant padding and ‘stuff’. The cheater is having to imagine what to say as they make it up and so builds the story in their own mind as well as in yours. Hence they add more detail."
How to spot a cheater / cheating partner If they're suddenly making effort with their appearance;
"As people take an interest in a new partner, they tend to make more effort to impress. So the first and most obvious clues to look out for are changes in appearance. That new hair-style, a reinvigorated interest in the gym and working out. Oh, and don’t forget that new underwear you find in the drawer. All these can be signs that someone has a new lease of life. And although there might be a perfectly good reason for this, a lot of the time, the motives are related to impressing somebody else, and somebody else in particular," Phillip says.
How to spot a cheater / cheating partner If their routine changes; Phillip says, "We all know that relationships take time and effort to keep fresh. And that we tend to get into a routine with our partner; like favouring that old pair of slippers. So be on the lookout for changes in routine that don’t appear to be for the benefit of you and your partner. Naturally, working long hours (particularly into the evening) needs to be checked out. Another clue may lie in your partner suddenly changing their routine and taking up a new hobby or pastime, an activity that you instinctively know isn’t naturally ‘them’."
How to spot a cheater / cheating partner If they're spending more time online; "Has your partner developed more of an interest in social media lately? Perhaps spending much more time online? If they have, what tends to happen when you walk into the room they are surfing in? Do they carry on, or hastily switch websites or even close the lid of the laptop?" Phillip asks. "Typically, they will then express frustration in a vain attempt to shift the focus away from what they might have been caught doing."
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